Opinions by Kelly

This last week has been a very hard week, one that I never wish to repeat and one that I’m still trying to get out of. I have never felt so spiritually dry. I want to stop and retreat to something I know, but I have nowhere to go and I feel like I’ve forgotten everything I’ve ever done.

Sorry for the bummer post, but that’s just how life is. It can’t be ‘unicorns and kittens holding hands, singing a song of hope all while skipping down the street’ all of the time…and I have to keep reminding myself of that all the time.

I nearly had a breakdown in the street, nearly cried in the local ASDA (Walmart for the ‘mericans) and almost hopped on a bus and hid on the shoreline just to get away. I have never felt so unsure, so lonely or so unheard ever in my life. I just want to reach out, but I don’t want to scare people. I don’t want to be a needy girl, but I desperately need a shoulder to lean on for a mile or two.

However, Jesus told me that days like these would happen and that he’d never leave me alone, and he hasn’t. I’m going to just hold out and pray that things get better soon. In the mean time, I’m thankful for:

1. A warm, dry house with a fireplace. Lord, how grateful I am for that fireplace. It has saved my feet these many cold nights.
2. My winter coat. It’s navy blue and very warm. I feel safe when I’m tucked up in it, like winter’s fingers can’t touch me.
3. Sleep.
4. Starbucks. Now, I try to limit my trips…but once every few weeks is a lovely break.
5. Music
6. Outdoors: Birds, crunchy leaves on the grounds, half moons, blue skies that remind me of Texas, the noise of cars passing by, my beautiful town, orange plums?
7. Young people who smile back. Thank you, guy in the park. You kinda made my day.
8. Flowers in my window from ASDA

And many, many more things.

“Even Christians get wet when it rains.” -Bert

fuckyeahsharks:

Totally gonna buy these for my future wife.

 …how do you feel about getting married to a stranger?

Anyways, I think these are awesome. There will be more written about my love for all things shark related later.

Do you ever just want to post something online, but you know that if anyone ever reads it it would be the end of the world for you? I am constantly in that situation. I can’t post even though I desperately want to. Boo hiss.

Opinion: It is good to filter your online life. Just hush up sometimes, alright?

Today I’m going to blog about something that’s a little more serious: Loneliness. From what I hear, it’s a pretty common thing on the mission field.

I have lived in Northern Ireland for over four months (this is the beginning of my fifth!) and it’s only struck me recently. Normally I have to go off and take some ‘personal time’ because I feel like I’m always around people, but recently…I’ve just felt isolated. Very, very isolated. I sometimes feel like I have no one to just go and talk to about things with. I would just like some quality time with someone…anyone.

Now, I have to wonder if it’s just the ‘winter blues’ hitting me. We had a time change last week and since we pushed our clocks back it’s just been dark all of the time. I’m serious, it gets dark at 4 in the afternoon. I’m not used to it being dark most of the day, because I’m from sunny ole Texas. I’ve never seen a winter like this ever before in my entire life.

Honest Opinion: This winter is going to be a hard one.

Second Opinion: I can’t/won’t let it get me down.

How do you deal with the winter blues? How does it make you feel?

Opinion: Halloween is my favourite holiday ever, especially after last night.

Halloween in Northern Ireland is quite a big deal and last night was no exception. This is my favorite photo of my team and I from last night.

Oh, by the way…there are two boys and four girls. Try to figure out who is who. :) Any guesses?

Second Opinion: My teammates are crafty people.

IT’S THE NIGHT OF THE HALLOWE’EN PARTY!!!

I’ll post pictures later, because my roommates are super creative people. Our costumes are pretty stinkin’ awesome.

Opinion: Tonight’s gonna be ballin’…and I don’t use that word lightly, so…yeah.

Today I stumbled into my local library and discovered that they have a massive cd collection. I got six cd’s for roughly 2 pounds sterling and I am so excited to have newish music amongst me. 

Here’s a list of all the cd’s I rented:

1. “Vampire Weekend” by Vampire Weekend
2. “Little Voice” by Sara Bareilles
3. “Rascal Flatts” by Rascal Flatts
4. “Made of Bricks” by Kate Nash
5. “Icky Thump” by The White Stripes
6. “Now That’s What I Call Music: 72” by Various Artists

I intend to listen to all of these cd’s and start dropping my thoughts and (gasp!) opinions on them here on my blog. So, keep an eye out.

Opinion: I am in love with Libraries. Madly deep love.

Halloween (or as they call it here in Northern Ireland, Hallowe’en) is only two days away, but I’m celebrating it tomorrow.

However, there’s a slight dilemma…I still don’t have a costume. My team and I are hosting a fantasy-dress (what they call costumes here) party tomorrow night and none of us have outfits, which is understandable when you consider the fact that we work full-time jobs and all of the stores here close at five or half-five.

However, I plan to slap something together within the next 24 hours even if it kills me.

Opinion: You can have a GOOD cheap, modest hallowe’en costume and I fully intend to prove this.

Question: What’s your costume for Halloween?

“Katrina” by The Black Lips

Opinion/Fact: Hurricanes Suck (yes, in both senses of the word).

All I have wanted to do in the last 24 hours was hide under my blanket and throw up.

Opinion: Being Sick is the worst feeling in the world, especially when you’re sick and far away from anyone you feel comfortable going to. I would trade anything to be able to go downstairs, climb onto the couch under a mountain of blankets and rest my head on my mom’s lap.

Second Opinion: It doesn’t matter how old you are, you will always want your mom there when you are sick.

Third Opinion: Go and check out www.hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com because it’s simply brilliant. Allie, the girl/lady that writes it, is one heck of a writer and has so many hilarious tales to tell. She also draws, which is where I got that picture. Go. Go now.